The ache of limitation and the grace of persistence in life with COPD
Choosing to rest is a radical act of self-care
Some days I despair over having to rest so often during my kitchen cleanup, but then I realize that I should be grateful. Even with Graves’ disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), a hiatal hernia, high blood pressure, and sinus irregularities, I am still able to clean my kitchen, make my bed, sweep my floors, and live a useful and happy life.
I feel that moment of despair, but I quickly pivot to gratitude because I am still here, and I am still me. My body asks for frequent intermissions, and I listen faithfully, though not always gladly. I have learned that these rests are not detours, but invigorating breaks.
For those of us with COPD, pacing is a way to spread our energy so that it lasts us a whole day. The diaphragm fatigues like any muscle. The heart compensates. The blood pressure rises. And so, we pause. We are not giving up; we are giving our bodies a chance to recalibrate.
Within the last week, I experienced what happens when I do not give my body that chance. My Fitbit warned me that I had experienced eight episodes of atrial fibrillation during the night. I was aware of only one episode. I had done that one extra thing the previous day after I knew I should quit.
It seems I need a reminder of how important it is to rest. Rest is not laziness but self-respect. It is the simmer that keeps the pot from boiling over.
I sweep my floors in segments. I make my bed in stages because a bed made in stages is still a bed made. I clean my kitchen with breath-sized effort. And in doing so, I reclaim usefulness. I am not as speedy as I once was, but I am still present. This is the kind of advocacy that lives in the body: the quiet insistence that we are still here, still contributing, still worthy.
I lean against the counter, the scent of lemon cleaner rising like a memory. My hands rest on a warm dish towel, just out of the dryer. Outside, the wind nudges the screen door, and inside, the broom waits patiently against the wall. This is not failure. This is an intermission.
The pause is not empty. It is filled with the hum of the oxygen concentrator, the rhythm of my breath, the quiet pride of a bed made in stages. I have learned to measure progress not in uninterrupted motion, but in the grace of return.
In a world that often equates speed with value, choosing to rest is a radical act. It says: I am worthy, even when I pause. I am useful, even when I move slowly. I am alive, and that is enough.
Note: COPD News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of COPD News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
About the Author
David A Sylvester
I love "Rest is not laziness but self respect"......Inspirational article Caroline--again. Thanks!!👍
Greg
Excellent article! I am 64 and have severe COPD.
Barbara Anne Vosburgh
Thank you for posting this. I get angry that I can't do things as quickly as I once had. Knowing I am not alone is a great help.
Teri Hoefer
Thank you for sharing your experience with COPD. there is so much I can relate to.
Mona Card
I, also, work with limitations at 83 yrs old . As I've heard many of you do. It's hard to breathe, thus I take many breaks, even with housework. I also have to climb stairs to cellar for my laundry. I've had pneumonia several times. Covid 19 kept me hospitalized for 9 days. But I am plugging along, as you all are. God Bless. Mona
Carol Hilton
This is so true
Carol Hilton
This is so true I feel the same time
Diane Davis
"In a world that often equates speed with value, choosing to rest is a radical act." Thank you for putting me and my COPD in a "radical" category, instead of a "sick," or "weak" one. One of my painful memories of this disease was not being able to keep up in the walk with my two other friends. They had to keep stopping, waiting, looking back at me. I was so embarrassed. Now, in the privacy of my home with no one shaming me, I can take pride in my willingness to pause, rest, and yes, smell the roses. Like you, I pat myself on the back for little accomplishments and rejoice that I am still alive today to pet the cat and admire the birds at their feeder. I am not envious of friends who feel the need to cram their calendars full everyday and rush from one thing to another. They are missing out on a lot of quiet joy.
Thomas Krueger
Makes me think how good we still have it. Praise the Lord
Patti Boyles
That is exactly how I feel. I was sad earlier because every chore was spaced by breaks. I felt like I needed to get more done. Then I read your comments and I realized that every step is a blessing and I am grateful to finally finish. Thank you.
Nancie cummins
Encouraging words to start my day ! So true and making acceptance a part of my life with COPD
Marieta Diane Golding
What a lovely article....self respect not failure when unable to be as fast as once was & to remind ourselves of gratitude for what we CAN do & do it with grace. Reminds me not to berate myself when having to pause to do things in increments allowing pause as a gain not a deterrent.
After a career of looking after other people often feel self absorbed as all my energy goes into looking after me putting me first when society says we should be volunteering or joining clubs & socialising.
Thank you Caroline you have true strength of spirit. Blessings & Bouquets.
Dianne michaud
Thank you so very much for your truthful honest and very sincere insights to COPD. I’ve learned and accepted that I’m limited and need to be so much kinder to myself and what is left of my lungs. Bless you for sharing and learning to know my capabilities
Debra Sawarin
Thank you for this reminder. And I love the phrase 'grace of persistance'