Living with COPD isn’t a test that I have to pass

I’ve spent a long time believing I wrote this column for other people — for anyone trying to build a decent life with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), who wakes up each morning negotiating with their own lungs.

While that’s still part of it, lately, I’ve realized something I didn’t expect: Writing these pieces has been helping me just as much as anyone who reads them. I receive many of the same benefits as journaling.

There’s a kind of quiet medicine in putting experience into words. When I sit down to write, I’m not just offering encouragement. I’m sorting through my own fears and frustrations, naming the small victories that might otherwise slip past unnoticed. I’m reminding myself of what I’ve learned the hard way. In helping others, I’ve been helping myself find a gentler way to live with this condition.

That truth came into sharper focus when I made another small shift: I stopped checking my Fitbit first thing in the morning.

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The day ahead of me

For years, those numbers dictated the tone of my day. A higher heart rate meant worry. Less REM sleep meant disappointment. A restless night meant I was already behind before I even sat up. I told myself I was being responsible by tracking, monitoring, and staying informed, which are good habits — until they aren’t. What I was really doing was handing over my peace to a device that couldn’t possibly understand the whole story of my body.

The first morning I didn’t check it, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time: ease. I woke up and simply … woke up. No judgment. No comparison to yesterday. No silent scolding. Just breath and the day ahead of me.

And that’s when the connection clicked. Writing my column and letting go of the morning stats are both acts of release. They’re both ways of stepping back from the pressure of competition. I am a very competitive person who needs to perform, to prove something, even to myself. Living with COPD isn’t a test I have to pass. It’s a life I’m still allowed to live.

And in that realization, I found a new definition of patient empowerment. It isn’t always about doing more, tracking more, or pushing harder. Sometimes empowerment is the permission to choose what supports your well‑being and what doesn’t. It’s the courage to say, “This helps me,” or “This harms me,” even when the world insists that more data is always better.

When I write, I’m not tracking my worth. I’m expressing it. When I skip the numbers, I’m choosing presence over perfection. Both choices give me a little more room inside my own chest.

I still hope my words help someone feel less alone. But I’m grateful for what they give back to me — a steadier heart, a calmer start to the day, and a reminder that empowerment sometimes begins with letting go.

Note: COPD News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of COPD News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues about chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.