My smile hid symptoms of depression associated with COPD

I knew my troubling mental health symptoms, but I didn't acknowledge them

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by Caroline Gainer |

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In observing Mental Health Awareness Month in May, I’d like to offer some insights into some symptoms we may overlook. Depression and anxiety, for example, are common for those of us with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) — as I learned through personal experience.

In my case, I had major depressive disorder, and I believe my smile and sunny personality hid my symptoms from my healthcare team. I discussed some issues with my family doctor, who was also my late husband’s doctor for over 30 years, but when he retired, that stopped.

He and I had been pursuing the cause of my fatigue. Blood work showed that I had iron deficiency anemia, and he’d asked me if I thought I might also be depressed, since he knew that both my husband and I were dealing with multiple health issues. If I weren’t so tired, I told him, I wouldn’t be depressed. His retirement closed this pursuit.

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The development of my symptoms

I remember hearing people talk about being clinically depressed and that it was difficult to get out of bed and get dressed every morning. In retrospect, I realize that I shared this habit. My first intervention for this problem was taking a managerial position at a large retailer so that I was forced to get up and get dressed each day.

My second intervention was speaking with a psychologist, who said I was emotionally fatigued, but not clinically depressed. I stayed with this provider for about a year and then decided that I wasn’t getting the help I needed, so I quit.

I ignored my lack of motivation to make jewelry, crochet, and sew. I didn’t have time to do these activities because I had to move more slowly because of my COPD. By the time I sought professional help, I was sleeping far too much and getting little accomplished.

I tried melatonin, ashwagandha, L-tryptophan, and Benadryl (diphenhydramine) to help me fall asleep. Whatever I tried seemed to help for only a few days. Being unable to sleep worsened my fatigue, and I skipped brushing my teeth or washing my face before bedtime.

Help evaded me until one night I decided that it’d be a blessing if I died in my sleep. The next morning, I made an appointment with a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with major depressive disorder. I knew the symptoms of depression, but I hadn’t acknowledged that I was having them.

I learned an important lesson: that it’s important to reach out for help. And if help is evasive, try repeatedly until you find the right provider.


Note: COPD News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of COPD News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

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